I am knocked down sometimes, when I let go of my focus on the Lord and give in to my rage, but I AM NEVER KNOCKED OUT. I bounce right up again because he renews my strength. I am torn apart but not completely torn up. He stitches me up and makes me right. I am so deeply hurt but I am healing, because I serve a God that heals.I do not know where he is leading me, but he is making me let go of all the idols in my life. I may have to let go but he has new things in store for me. My future right now is so uncertain but I will not fear he has good plans for me, plans to prosper me. I will be the head and not the tail, no weapon formed against me will prosper. I envisioned growing old with you, going for dinner on saturday, or just sitting in starbucks chatting, watching the world go by. But you had other ideas.Well I hope you find what you are seaching for. Sometimes its there right under your nose but you were too blind to see.

Dear Lord,
I know my dad is up with you and he is so so happy. Today is his birthday. Can you wish him for me? Tell him I am doing alright but missing him still. Mum is there with him, but then you already know that. I can imagine him walking on streets of Gold, asking you all those questions he said he was going to ask you.He loved you so much and he was special to you too. He was a wonderful Dad, always had time for us. When we did something wrong, mum would get excited and scream and scold but Dad well he was more calm, but rest assured you would get the punishment you deserved.He was always quick to give a hug and kiss, no matter what age we were.When I think of him, I can almost smell the Fahrenheit he lavishly splashed on himself. Clothes ironed to perfection and shoes shinning(we were roped in sometimes to shine them). Today I know all the family are thinking of him and Lord I cannot thank you enough for such a wonderful dad. He had such a great capacity to love and give of himself. Tell Dad that his children are still close to each other and that bond he started cannot be broken. Tell him the grandchildren are doing great and he and mum would be so proud of them.
He was not only a great dad but also a wonderful husband and looked after mum right to the end.Two days before mum died she asked us to recite PSALM 23 and when Dad and I had finished, he looked at her and the love he had for her just poured right out and overwhelmed us. He told her you know I love you and she looked at him and said 'I know". It was like a secret message pass between them.
The most poignant moment I shared with dad before he died was the night we were driving him to hospital. He was in pain and making very heavy breathing noises and I was crying. Suddenly he shouted with a loud voice 'I PLEAD THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB TO COVER ME'
You, Lord immediately came to his rescue. You took away his fear in that instant and he knew he was going home. I have never until this day, ever felt that peace which invaded our car, that white light which flooded our car. It was the closes I have come to being in your presence.
So tell him we love him and mum and the memories they left us, we will always carry in our hearts. He ran and finished the race. I can imagine you, Lord, standing at the gates of heaven, your arms wide open "Welcome home son"

Human beings are such an ungrateful lot. We sit and moan about all the things that went wrong in our lives. We cry and rant and rave about how unfair life is. But we need to stop and think about the good that has happened. We need to thank god for what we do have. We need to appreciate how bl est we really are with the things we take for granted. When we wake up each morning, we stretch and yawn ourselves up, our thoughts already racing into the day. STOP! think what a blessing it is that when you open your eyes you can see,put your foot on the floor and you can feel,sit and eat your breakfast yourself. All these little things we do with our eyes closed.Think about the person who wakes up to yet another dark day ahead.All he can see is this dark black void.Or the person who lies in bed waiting for his caregiver or family to come and help me with his toilet. He lies there listening to the sounds around, wishing he could just jump out of this skin. Or the person who sits and waits for someone to feed him.He hates this and finds it so demeaning, but there is nothing he can do.
So this thanksgiving lets be thankful for what we have, the family we have, the love that surrounds us.Thank god for just being you, wonderfully made in God' image. Love yourself so you can love others. Find the good in every situation.Make the best of the life you have been given.

My young and pretty friend. You have such a sweet face, always smiling. You are quick to give a smile and there is a sweetness to your smile. I enjoy your company, you lift me up. Remember this my young friend, you are beautiful and smart and if he does not appreciate you he is the loser not you.There is that special kind of love out there, someone fitted specially for you. Love does not hurt. its kind and happy.So if he cheats on you now,know that perhaps he is not right for you. Better be now than way into the marriage where innocent lives will be hurt.If you give commitment, than expect that back too, you deserve it. Its not alright for a boyfriend to cheat on his girlfriend.Even friends have commitment too. You deserve to be happy so do not settle for anything less. I believe in pray and in the Lord who cares. He never cheats on me, is always faithful and never fails me. I have began praying for you and you will know what to do.I am always here for you. God peace rest upon you and help you to decide wisely.

Today the service was awesome! We sang TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS and it felt like I was standing alone in his presence looking at him. The atmosphere was electrifying and the Lord's anointing was all around us. His peace is with me and the joy of the Lord permeates my very being. I prayed for all of you and I felt a peace for you too. I know you will make it. Pastor talked about holy communion and I have been doing it most mornings. Its something so intimate between me and my Lord. It makes me look forward to the day and whatever it brings. I have mentioned often that each day is a gift and my gift is new every morning.Its not about our faith but his faith in us. I urge you to read his word and meditate on it.You need to get intimate with him. Then you move into the spiritual realm. Everything is different then, more and more awesome. No word can describe how much I love the Lord.He fills my mind each day and I cannot get enough of him. When I go into his presence in prayer I bring those I love before him too, and I know something is happening in the spirit realm for them too. Remember that not one word we utter, not one teardrop we shed, not one hurt we feel , he does not feel and hear and see.
HAVE AN AWESOME WEEK AHEAD AND KNOW HE WALKS INTO YOUR WEEK WITH YOU,HAND IN HAND WITH YOU. BE BLEST IN JESUS NAME

I feel the Lord calling me to a particular ministry-WOMEN. I seem to meet alot of women who are hurting.So let me tell you WOMEN out there that you are beautifully and wonderfully made in God image and do not allow anyone to tell you different. You. as a woman, deserve RESPECT, LOVE. KINDNESS and CARING from those you love. Do not settle for anything less.Love yourself first and know that Jesus loves you so much. When you are down, close your eyes and let his love flow over you. His peace will just engulf you and keep you warm.Women, we are strong, we get knocked down but we get right up there, ready to face our next challenge.We are fiercely protective of those we love and our job as mothers, wives,daughters, sisters and friends is never done. We give so much of ourselves and ask little in return. Our reward is to see those we love happy. So if there is anyone out there who feels alone and unloved; if you feel hopeless and despair and hurt, know that someone cares, I CARE AND GOD CARES. I pray for you even though I do not know you.My spirit goes out to you to find you. JESUS IS THERE FOR YOU. He asks nothing from you and he is so easy to love. Right now call his name and he will be there with you. He is just waiting for you to let him into your life.
My friend this is for you.
I know you are hurting so much and you seem to be losing it. You still have so much love with you. Just look and those three faces that lie next to you.They are afraid too because somehow they think they are to blame. Change all that anger you feel towards him into love for those 3 treasures you have.I have told you often that you are beautiful, successful and smart. So do not be stripped of that.You draw from your inner strength now and God is with you.Know that. Cry out to him. Pour out your heart to him.Believe that in spite of everything he has good plans for you