Thursday, June 18, 2015

This little guy will soon be 3 in a couple of months. Every time I hold him close to me my heart feels like exploding with love. That smile that lights up my world, the way he calls me 'nana', as he lies in my lap with his eyes staring at me as I put him to sleep, little things that I will treasure all the days I am in this world. I have a new meaning and purpose in my life now. A new spring in my step when I reach his house and I can hear "Nana came Nana came" So much I want to impart to him, so much to tell him. I look at him and I see my son in him, I see my dad in him the way he loves music and is always dancing. I am the truly blessed to be his grandmother. He is a part of me and I hope I will be blessed to see him grow into a fine young man God has destined him to be.

Monday, June 15, 2015

Laziness and procrastination are my two worst enemies. Or perhaps I am just getting old. Sometimes when I sit back and think of my life for the last 5 years, Psalm 92:12-15 is a constant reminder of God's faithfulness and love in my life.

I am doing things that I never imagined myself doing. New technology that I found baffling and unable to do before are easy for me now, though of course I still need help from the younger generation. When God calls you and when you obey He will see you through all the rough patches and give you understanding. As I walk this journey serving him in ministry He allows me to see and experience life as I never have before. I feel alive when I am serving Him.

There are 2 things that I am praying desperately for. I know God has heard me and even though I cannot see it happening yet I believe He has started His work already and will bring it to pass in His time. I will probably never fully understand His ways but I trust Him and know He will make a way when there seems to be no way. Thank you Lord!

Monday, September 22, 2014

There are days when I am on top of the world, Where there is nothing I cannot conquer, anything I cannot overcome. Then I wake up one morning and I feel way down in the ravine, struggling to get up, to claw my way up again. Sometimes I wish I can just close my eyes and just go home to my Fathers house.   There is no pain only peace and comfort in my Father's house. I chide myself that I am being so selfish because I know I am so blest to have the love of my children and the love of my life, my grandson. He is the reason I wake up every morning. He is the reason I count the days till the week-end. When I walk through the door and stretch our my arms, he come running-Nana nana came he shouts gleefully. I am just hit with this strong emotion that overwhelms me and yet bring me so much of joy. In that moment I feel alive, so very much alive. I love my children, God how I love them and I would give my life for them but my love for this little fellow just sweeps me off my feet.

You on the other  hand drift further and further away. I look back to the time I first met you could I ever envision this for my life? I can honestly say now I do not know this stranger that lives in my house and that I once loved. Well I have resigned myself to the inevitable but there is always that small glimmer of hope. Foolish? definitely foolish foolish hope but still a small tiny thread of hope. Why do I hope? I hope because I serve a God of hope where absolutely nothing is impossible. He gives me that hope. There are times when I hear that small still voice in my heart telling me do not let go. But I am so so tired and I honestly do not think I can hold on much longer.

Well its another day tomorrow.............................................

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Monday, March 31, 2014

Monday, March 11, 2013

Elijah is now four months old and for the past four months almost every weekend is spent with him. I am really enjoying being his grandmother. He is such a beautiful baby, always happy and ready to laugh and smile. He is my reason to feel joy when I wake up every morning and count the days to the weekend. In the early hours of the morning is my "quiet" time with him. I give him his first feed for the day  and throughout all this he quietly watches me through sleepy eyes. I call his name and he gives me that half smile "Grandma  I am still sleepy" After  I change his diaper he comes more awake and decides he wants to have a conversation  with Grandma at 6.00am. I hold him in my arms, cuddling him close to me. I feel his warm little body close to me and pure love and joy just flows through me. I have only known him for four months and I would gladly give my life for him. He has completely changed my life. I rock him gently until he falls asleep again and reluctantly lay him down on his cot. I linger a bit longer looking down at him. My little Angel and I look forward to more quiet time with him when he awakes later.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Elijah is now two months old. He is simply more adorable and how my love has grown for him. If I do not see him for a few days, I long for him and must stop by, even it is just to catch a glimpse of the sweet face.
He is the beautiful part of my existence. The part that is pure and good. Whenever I am upset or angry or there is ugliness, I close my eyes and think of Elijah. I feel him in my arms, that soft trusting body cuddled up to me, so trusting, knowing Granny loves to cuddle  him.
I see him in his mother's arms, and know she was just born to be a mother. She knows his different cries and knows how to calm and sooth him. He hears her voice and turns to find her. Its just simply awesome to see a mother with her baby. Something so precious, a moment to keep in your heart forever.
Daddy feeds him late at night and he is half asleep but his eyes flutter open and looks up into the strong bearded face and knows, that my dad. He wont allow anything bad to happen to me and I am totally safe in these arms.He looks into his dad's eyes and sees and feel his dad's love.
This little baby can change and touch so many lives. What an awesome God we have that made this miracle possible and every child is definitely a gift from God and an awesome creation.