Saturday, August 25, 2007

Came back from K.L. on saturday and it was good to spend time with Shan and Mel. I enjoyed the time spent with Mel, going with her to Klang Hospital and shopping. I felt like buying her the whole world. I am happiest when I see my kids happy and I so enjoyed cleaning Mel's house. A clean and pleasant enviroment is very important in any home. It must be brigt and neat and airy. I cleaned and cleaned and my reward was to see her happy face when she walked in. I wished I could have cooked for her , a nice hot meal too. Well..... next time when my cooking skills improve. I love you so much Mel and it gave me so much pleasure just being with you. I only wish you would look after yourself. Remember your body is a temple of the holy spirit and it has to be fit in everyway.

Well my Shan, I wish I could have spent more time with you though. I wanted to have a good heart to heart talk with you about so many things. Knowing you, you would have done your best to avoid that. I know you care for me and dont want me to clean your house; but that gives me great pleasure when I can do something for you. Dont deny me that. I have great joy in my heart when I am around you kids and doing things for you guys makes me happiest. I wanted to shop for you and get you things but you refused. SIGH.......... I know you are a man and quite capable of looking after yourself but as your mom I see you as just my little boy. I felt sad to see you sick and I pray everyday that you will stop smoking. Its doing you so much harm. You are strong and I know that one day you will stop. Not a day goes by without me praying for you both. I know the Lord has his plans and purposes for both fo you.

Came back and was happy to see Jess. My lovely spoilt Jess. She goes through so much now and I know as only a mother can know, she is hurting and sad sometimes. Well sorry to say this but there will be alot more let down by friends but we have to be an overcomer. She yearns to go back to the days when she had her brother and sister and Sheena around, but we can never go back to yesterday. All we have of our yesterdays are memories. Somw we wish we could forget and others we want to remember forever. There is much she has to learn about life and I fear for her when she goes out into the big world next year. I know the Lord will watch out for her. How many times have I sat before him and poured my hear out about my kids, and he has always told me they are in the palm of his hand.

I also manage to see little Sean. He is such a beautiful baby. Always happy and smiling and is so perfectly happy and safe in his little world. His parents simply adore him and so does his grandparents. All of us love him too. He is surrounded by so much love. God bless him

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Well I am finally retired.Didn't quite beleive this day would come. Well it has. So many emo and thoughts go through my mind. One minute I am excited as things seem to be looking great, but in my quite moments, an unease steals over me. Liar Liar you devil! I beleive the Lord does have a plan and purpose for my life. I have been so busy since I retired that I think I need to slow down.Can you beleive I am more busy now, always on the roads doing something, then when I was working? . I go back to my office but everytime I go, I begin to feel further and further away from the girls. Cant keep going back. Got to let go and move on. Well I am happy, just need to relax more.
I feel sorry for those you have never been loved and have no one who really cares a shit! Its so sad and I see alot of that lately. I am so blessed to have my family around me. Lourdes and the kids are everything to me and so are the IGNATIUS clan. I am indeed so blessed by the love and care. I have the greatest kids ever. I know every mom says that, but mine really are. They are not perfect but the have that great legacy their grandfather left them-to love and care always.Family is important to them.May they always look out for each other. NOTHING must be more important than FAMILY!