Monday, September 22, 2008

I sit here silently crying, my tears just flowing.After I confronted you and saw the guilt on your face, my heart just shattered. Why? I knew it already but yet it still hurt. Did you know how much I loved you? I feel defiled and dirty. But I cannot hate you. You gave me three precious gifts and I have treasured them, and nurtured them and now am learning to let them grow on their own. I will always love you for that. You know when I was young, someone once told me that I would be unlucky in love. But that's not true and I have love all around me, just not your love. Did you ever love me? or was it what I represented? Guess I will never know. It happened so many times, and I began to accept that every man has his weakness. But that not right. I have that right to expect full and unconditional love from my you. I want you to care for me, to worry about me and look after me. To look at me, just me with love in your eyes.
Thoughts race through my mind, and I feel Like its all so overwhelming. Can I survive this? Inside I feel weak and sick. But I know I am made of stronger stuff than this and I will survive. I survived terrible things in the past and grew stronger because of it so I know I WILL SURVIVE.
I forgive you, but I just dont know if I can live with you anymore. I honestly dont know.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Marriage is something pure and beautiful.It makes two as one and its such a deep intimate thing.How can some people take it so lightly and defile it. Its two heart coming together, joining two bodies as one. We let you into our bodies, our minds our thoughts and dreams.We let you into the deep recesses of our life where sometimes we fear to go alone. Now a fragile string holds our hearts together. It can break anytime and when it does our hearts go crashing down, broken into a million pieces. Well god is there to pick up those pieces and he painstakingly joins them together. Lovingly he holds the pieces in his hand and pieces our hearts back. Sometimes he will join that broken string that binds two hearts but then again, he sees so far ahead and knows that cannot be. We trust in him because he knows our hearts. He see our pain and catches every tear that falls. He makes you want to go on because only his love is unselfish and only he can bring that peace and happiness you crave for.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


Lord when my soul is weary
And my heart is tired and sore
And I have that failing feeling
That I cannot take anymore
Then let me know the refreshing
found in simple childlike prayer
When the kneeling soul knows surely
That a listening Lord is there.

The lonely ours have become for me
Very precious hours indeed
Because in reality
I found I was not alone
Jesus gently reminded me
That I was his own


Read this somewhere and its so true.May it have some meaning for you too.

Your children are not your children
They are sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they do not belong to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
Which you can not visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backwards, nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and he bends
you with his might that his arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness,
for even as he loves the arrows which flies,
So he loves also the bow which is stable.