I sit here silently crying, my tears just flowing.After I confronted you and saw the guilt on your face, my heart just shattered. Why? I knew it already but yet it still hurt. Did you know how much I loved you? I feel defiled and dirty. But I cannot hate you. You gave me three precious gifts and I have treasured them, and nurtured them and now am learning to let them grow on their own. I will always love you for that. You know when I was young, someone once told me that I would be unlucky in love. But that's not true and I have love all around me, just not your love. Did you ever love me? or was it what I represented? Guess I will never know. It happened so many times, and I began to accept that every man has his weakness. But that not right. I have that right to expect full and unconditional love from my you. I want you to care for me, to worry about me and look after me. To look at me, just me with love in your eyes.
Thoughts race through my mind, and I feel Like its all so overwhelming. Can I survive this? Inside I feel weak and sick. But I know I am made of stronger stuff than this and I will survive. I survived terrible things in the past and grew stronger because of it so I know I WILL SURVIVE.
I forgive you, but I just dont know if I can live with you anymore. I honestly dont know.