What am I doing?

I seem to be so busy, rushing around everyday, with my clients and Jess and what not, but something is missing. I feel I am not doing god's plan for me. Everything I do is for me, but it does not have much meaning. Sometimes when I sit alone, I have this strange feeling inside, that there is something I must do, some place I must be or someone I must see. On the whole I am happy and contented. God,s blessing on my family is awesome. The kids are doing great and everything is good but why do I feel that its all about to change.? There is just that tinsy bit of fear creeping in and then I feel alone with all this blackness around and this eerie quiet. But inspite of everything, I konw the presence of god is so real in my life. I know I need never be afraid, because no matter what storms are brewing I always have a shelter with him.

In the times of greatest struggle, when the angry billows roll, I can always find my saviour, Christ the refuge of my soul.





When driven and tossed by life's fiercest storms,

my strength all depleted and spent,

I rest in the might of one stronger than I,

whose help in that hour is sent.

I have never done so much of housework as I have in the past week. Aunty is away and so its my turn. Its work and work and more work. I always have something that I have not quite finished. Gosh how I hate housework but I do like a really clean house. I really salute all you housewives out there, who are at it 24/7. Its just a never ending story is it?. Its washing and cleanining and just more cleaning. And just when I think at last I can sit I hear" Ma please send me for tution or I just got to go and photostat this now etc etc etc.........."Tried my hand at cooking today and I must say the chicken hotfry came out well. So did the veggie dish.But I cheated and got some curry from the shop. Well I will improve as time goes on. My husband really appreciated the effort I took to cook and he said it tasted good. But just have to rest tomorrow, fagged out. Now that I have retired, I am enjoying everyday(even if I am dog tired) and its a whole new experience for me. My life belongs to ME now, not THAI INTERNATIONAL. I am not bored, just want to keep on going. I seem to have so much more energy now. The Lord blesses me each day, with a new day and a new beginning. Its like he gives me a whole new blank page and he says...I am going to write a new day for you.

Its been some time since i wrote. Have been so busy. had a great trip to chiangmai with the girls....load of fun and laughter and then went to Bangkok to keeps Babs company while she was in hospital. Lourdes went with me and I was so glad I had him. He is a very good travelling companion. Poor Babs it was one thing after another. You can see this great tender love Kumar has for her and of course she is still crazy about him. Well I am back now and still looking for something to do. Got a few offers but full time...Dont want that definately. But I will find something. For now I am just enjoying myself.I love to wake early and go for my walk and then have breakfast with Lourdes. My days is busy busy. I feel good, real good. The kids are great but Jess of course has exam fever and is moody and what not.... Guess she thinks I am bugging her too much. Well a mums, got to do what she got do. Prehaps one day she will understand. She knows I love her. Dread the day when she leaves too.