There are days when I am on top of the world, Where there is nothing I cannot conquer, anything I cannot overcome. Then I wake up one morning and I feel way down in the ravine, struggling to get up, to claw my way up again. Sometimes I wish I can just close my eyes and just go home to my Fathers house.   There is no pain only peace and comfort in my Father's house. I chide myself that I am being so selfish because I know I am so blest to have the love of my children and the love of my life, my grandson. He is the reason I wake up every morning. He is the reason I count the days till the week-end. When I walk through the door and stretch our my arms, he come running-Nana nana came he shouts gleefully. I am just hit with this strong emotion that overwhelms me and yet bring me so much of joy. In that moment I feel alive, so very much alive. I love my children, God how I love them and I would give my life for them but my love for this little fellow just sweeps me off my feet.

You on the other  hand drift further and further away. I look back to the time I first met you could I ever envision this for my life? I can honestly say now I do not know this stranger that lives in my house and that I once loved. Well I have resigned myself to the inevitable but there is always that small glimmer of hope. Foolish? definitely foolish foolish hope but still a small tiny thread of hope. Why do I hope? I hope because I serve a God of hope where absolutely nothing is impossible. He gives me that hope. There are times when I hear that small still voice in my heart telling me do not let go. But I am so so tired and I honestly do not think I can hold on much longer.

Well its another day tomorrow.............................................