My day are eerie calm. On the surface things seem ok but there is that underlying feeling of fear and dreaded anticipation. I feel I must prepare, get strength and get ready. For what? I really do not know. I fear for you. You must want to die so badly. You chase after death. You do everything you can to make it happen. Sometimes I am helpless and do not know what I can do for you. I hope I will be strong enough. You have a darkness deep deep inside your soul. Its beginning to show now.