IF I KNEW was sent to me by my sister and I cannot remember who the author was but it was so beautifully written that I wanted to share it with all of you. 2009 is coming to an end and I look back on in sometimes with pain and heartache and sometimes with joy as well. The year brought me both and that is how life is. We take the good and the bad and make the best with what we have. Its not our circumstances that matter, but what we do with it that counts. If we could see ahead there are so many things we could or would have done differently, but unfortunately we did not have that luxury. We went ahead and made our mistakes and choices that we thought were good. Some were and some were not. Life is always a learning process right to the time we draw our last breath. But life itself is a gift to us and when we see another new day that is god's gift to us. What we do with it is our gift to god. So I look forward to the new year no matter what it brings. When I walk into 2010 I do not walk alone. This great an awesome god I serve walks with me, never letting go of my hand. So my friends may god bless you this coming year with all his best for us. Know this, we are strong women of faith and we are not going to allow anything to defeat us because GREATER IS HE THAT IS IN US THAN HE THAT IS IN THE WORLD. May all your dreams come through for 2010. I love you all

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more

If I knew it would be the last tim e
I'd hear y our voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say 'I love you,'
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will l always be another day
to say 'I love you,'
And certainly there's another chance
to say our 'Anything I can do?'

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you' ll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say 'I'm sorry,'
'Please forgive me,' 'Thank you,' or 'It's okay.'
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

I am knocked down sometimes, when I let go of my focus on the Lord and give in to my rage, but I AM NEVER KNOCKED OUT. I bounce right up again because he renews my strength. I am torn apart but not completely torn up. He stitches me up and makes me right. I am so deeply hurt but I am healing, because I serve a God that heals.I do not know where he is leading me, but he is making me let go of all the idols in my life. I may have to let go but he has new things in store for me. My future right now is so uncertain but I will not fear he has good plans for me, plans to prosper me. I will be the head and not the tail, no weapon formed against me will prosper. I envisioned growing old with you, going for dinner on saturday, or just sitting in starbucks chatting, watching the world go by. But you had other ideas.Well I hope you find what you are seaching for. Sometimes its there right under your nose but you were too blind to see.

Dear Lord,
I know my dad is up with you and he is so so happy. Today is his birthday. Can you wish him for me? Tell him I am doing alright but missing him still. Mum is there with him, but then you already know that. I can imagine him walking on streets of Gold, asking you all those questions he said he was going to ask you.He loved you so much and he was special to you too. He was a wonderful Dad, always had time for us. When we did something wrong, mum would get excited and scream and scold but Dad well he was more calm, but rest assured you would get the punishment you deserved.He was always quick to give a hug and kiss, no matter what age we were.When I think of him, I can almost smell the Fahrenheit he lavishly splashed on himself. Clothes ironed to perfection and shoes shinning(we were roped in sometimes to shine them). Today I know all the family are thinking of him and Lord I cannot thank you enough for such a wonderful dad. He had such a great capacity to love and give of himself. Tell Dad that his children are still close to each other and that bond he started cannot be broken. Tell him the grandchildren are doing great and he and mum would be so proud of them.
He was not only a great dad but also a wonderful husband and looked after mum right to the end.Two days before mum died she asked us to recite PSALM 23 and when Dad and I had finished, he looked at her and the love he had for her just poured right out and overwhelmed us. He told her you know I love you and she looked at him and said 'I know". It was like a secret message pass between them.
The most poignant moment I shared with dad before he died was the night we were driving him to hospital. He was in pain and making very heavy breathing noises and I was crying. Suddenly he shouted with a loud voice 'I PLEAD THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB TO COVER ME'
You, Lord immediately came to his rescue. You took away his fear in that instant and he knew he was going home. I have never until this day, ever felt that peace which invaded our car, that white light which flooded our car. It was the closes I have come to being in your presence.
So tell him we love him and mum and the memories they left us, we will always carry in our hearts. He ran and finished the race. I can imagine you, Lord, standing at the gates of heaven, your arms wide open "Welcome home son"

Human beings are such an ungrateful lot. We sit and moan about all the things that went wrong in our lives. We cry and rant and rave about how unfair life is. But we need to stop and think about the good that has happened. We need to thank god for what we do have. We need to appreciate how bl est we really are with the things we take for granted. When we wake up each morning, we stretch and yawn ourselves up, our thoughts already racing into the day. STOP! think what a blessing it is that when you open your eyes you can see,put your foot on the floor and you can feel,sit and eat your breakfast yourself. All these little things we do with our eyes closed.Think about the person who wakes up to yet another dark day ahead.All he can see is this dark black void.Or the person who lies in bed waiting for his caregiver or family to come and help me with his toilet. He lies there listening to the sounds around, wishing he could just jump out of this skin. Or the person who sits and waits for someone to feed him.He hates this and finds it so demeaning, but there is nothing he can do.
So this thanksgiving lets be thankful for what we have, the family we have, the love that surrounds us.Thank god for just being you, wonderfully made in God' image. Love yourself so you can love others. Find the good in every situation.Make the best of the life you have been given.

My young and pretty friend. You have such a sweet face, always smiling. You are quick to give a smile and there is a sweetness to your smile. I enjoy your company, you lift me up. Remember this my young friend, you are beautiful and smart and if he does not appreciate you he is the loser not you.There is that special kind of love out there, someone fitted specially for you. Love does not hurt. its kind and happy.So if he cheats on you now,know that perhaps he is not right for you. Better be now than way into the marriage where innocent lives will be hurt.If you give commitment, than expect that back too, you deserve it. Its not alright for a boyfriend to cheat on his girlfriend.Even friends have commitment too. You deserve to be happy so do not settle for anything less. I believe in pray and in the Lord who cares. He never cheats on me, is always faithful and never fails me. I have began praying for you and you will know what to do.I am always here for you. God peace rest upon you and help you to decide wisely.

Today the service was awesome! We sang TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS and it felt like I was standing alone in his presence looking at him. The atmosphere was electrifying and the Lord's anointing was all around us. His peace is with me and the joy of the Lord permeates my very being. I prayed for all of you and I felt a peace for you too. I know you will make it. Pastor talked about holy communion and I have been doing it most mornings. Its something so intimate between me and my Lord. It makes me look forward to the day and whatever it brings. I have mentioned often that each day is a gift and my gift is new every morning.Its not about our faith but his faith in us. I urge you to read his word and meditate on it.You need to get intimate with him. Then you move into the spiritual realm. Everything is different then, more and more awesome. No word can describe how much I love the Lord.He fills my mind each day and I cannot get enough of him. When I go into his presence in prayer I bring those I love before him too, and I know something is happening in the spirit realm for them too. Remember that not one word we utter, not one teardrop we shed, not one hurt we feel , he does not feel and hear and see.
HAVE AN AWESOME WEEK AHEAD AND KNOW HE WALKS INTO YOUR WEEK WITH YOU,HAND IN HAND WITH YOU. BE BLEST IN JESUS NAME