Elijah is now four months old and for the past four months almost every weekend is spent with him. I am really enjoying being his grandmother. He is such a beautiful baby, always happy and ready to laugh and smile. He is my reason to feel joy when I wake up every morning and count the days to the weekend. In the early hours of the morning is my "quiet" time with him. I give him his first feed for the day  and throughout all this he quietly watches me through sleepy eyes. I call his name and he gives me that half smile "Grandma  I am still sleepy" After  I change his diaper he comes more awake and decides he wants to have a conversation  with Grandma at 6.00am. I hold him in my arms, cuddling him close to me. I feel his warm little body close to me and pure love and joy just flows through me. I have only known him for four months and I would gladly give my life for him. He has completely changed my life. I rock him gently until he falls asleep again and reluctantly lay him down on his cot. I linger a bit longer looking down at him. My little Angel and I look forward to more quiet time with him when he awakes later.

Elijah is now two months old. He is simply more adorable and how my love has grown for him. If I do not see him for a few days, I long for him and must stop by, even it is just to catch a glimpse of the sweet face.
He is the beautiful part of my existence. The part that is pure and good. Whenever I am upset or angry or there is ugliness, I close my eyes and think of Elijah. I feel him in my arms, that soft trusting body cuddled up to me, so trusting, knowing Granny loves to cuddle  him.
I see him in his mother's arms, and know she was just born to be a mother. She knows his different cries and knows how to calm and sooth him. He hears her voice and turns to find her. Its just simply awesome to see a mother with her baby. Something so precious, a moment to keep in your heart forever.
Daddy feeds him late at night and he is half asleep but his eyes flutter open and looks up into the strong bearded face and knows, that my dad. He wont allow anything bad to happen to me and I am totally safe in these arms.He looks into his dad's eyes and sees and feel his dad's love.

This little baby can change and touch so many lives. What an awesome God we have that made this miracle possible and every child is definitely a gift from God and an awesome creation.

Elijah

At 11.22pm on the 10th November 2012, my whole world changed instantly with the arrival of my little Elijah, my first grandchild. Just looking into that pure and beautiful face, I felt something just shoot through me.I saw him open his eyes and look at me. I know babies cannot see for the first few days but I just felt him look right into my heart. Love just flowed out. I have just seen you for just a few moments and how I love you  my darling. I will always be here to love you, pray for you and protect you. You have a wonderful father and mother.The minute you were conceived they loved you and you will always be blessed to have such wonderful parents.God has only good plans for you and I know you will always be special. No words can express how I feel for you, my little Elijah

t is only a tiny rosebud,
A flower of GOD's design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine.
The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.

GOD opens this flower so sweetly,

• hen in my hands they fade and die.

If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
This flower of GOD's design,
Then how can I think I have wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?
So I'll trust in Him for His leading
Each moment of every day.
I will look to Him for His guidance
Each step of the pilgrim way.
The pathway that lies before me,
Only my heavenly Father knows.
I'll trust Him to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose.

Cannot remember where I saw this but I did not write this. Its beautfiul

A new wave

My daughter said to me that she always felt sad reading my blog and so I took the time to read it all again. Did I really write all that? Whoever wrote that was a woman caught up in her hurt and pain and did not want to let go. But that's not me now, I cried out. I have changed. I am happy now then I have ever been in a long long while. So there is a new wave coming now. I do not want to just surround myself with my pain and hurt and wallow in it but I want to reach out to others who are hurting and be a comfort for them. All those of you who are hurting and feel there is no hope and your pain will not go away, let me tell you it will. There is someone who loves you in a way you never imagined. Through his love, each day your pain and hurt will fade. I have experienced this 'love' and I never in my life imagined someone could love me so much. I want to share this love with you, if you will let me. Be blessed today

I have never been this confused and scared and so alone. Its like even God has left me. I have never felt so alone too. Why do I let you do this to me, time and again. You have hurt me more than any human being and you were the one who stood before God and made a vow with Abba to love and protect me.You were suppose to be there for me. Right now I feel so crushed, so drained and tired out. I feel as if a trailer just rolled over me. But deep within me there is a strength I can draw from and I will pick myself and go on because I must. I know I have so much to live for, God's not finished with me yet and He has not given up on me so I won't give up on myself either.